..my battle stance..

 Hehe.. I feel ashamed that I re-read my old old post and felt like.. "Actually that was not a bad piece." :P Serasa memuji diri sendiri. So here's my piece on the one story that I never forget: Before Kimchis I envy Kanchi. And i envy Rika. (and I still LOVE that smilee ^____^ ) Even if their outcome is basically a sad ending.. they could look at one another many years later and whisper inside their heart, "yeah.. I am still somewhere inside the most special spot in your heart after all these years. arigatou.. " Now I know, such a thing is one in a million thingy. Most of the times, we are heading towards 'Strangers Again' path. And that is not even the worst case scenario.

It would have been unfair not to journal tonight. Tonight.. I think I have rediscovered that 'asakura yoh' within. Once again. Somehow things will work out. Right? JP, in his year opening sermon, shared about God's restoration. One interesting point- God will restore the years that the swarming locust has eaten (Joel 2:25). So far washing machine is the only time machine that I know of. And it only transports socks anyway. So is 'restoring lost time' possible? But those words resonated somewhat with my spirit. And that is happening now. That dream .. it wasn't meant to be buried after all. Alright then.. Take Two!

Between good (and popular) news and must-see (and maybe not what the audience want) news, as a reporter, which one will you prioritise? This is one of the questions that Pinocchio, the korean series, ponder on. News that nobody is watching is not really news. Is that true? The series explore the power of media and how it can be misused to distort the truth. Coming from a country like Indonesia, I totally could relate with that. And therefore I found that reporter job is truly an awesome one. Or a sad one. When you realise how wicked and scary this world really is. Just like a lawyer job. One morale that I really pondered on as I watched this was this. In today's world, in order for your voice to be heard by many, you may have to compromise by selling your soul along the way. You tell people what they like to hear so that 'one day', you can tell people what you believe they need to hear. But will that 'one day' ever come if you no longer keep your soul? ...

Came across this series poster when I ate at several Korean restaurants. But never really bother to find out what kind of series it is. Feast of the gods. that was the title. Recently saw it on Tv. And like it. The series kinda promote Korean's traditional cuisine. Think the characters are interesting. Oh well, maybe I just have soft spot for an XX with white chef jacket to begin with. Before I learned singing any Indonesian children song, I 'memorised' a Voltes V Japanese soundtrack. Of course to a three year old me back then, my singing sounded Japanese enough. It's in my genes and blood. The Japanese. But recently I start to appreciate the Korean too. Unfortunately the K-wave has become too mainstream to my liking. But still, am very keen to explore this country. Maybe this is one country that is worth exploring at my own pace.. *taking mental note Next Asian country to target! We'll see.

When did we come to existence? Was it the day we were born? Or was it the moment when the glorious sperm of our father swept our mum's ovum off her feet. I was singing that song "Hati sebagai hamba", (if you have no idea what this is, pls repent heh) Anyway yeah.. it's an old song, but I love the sincerity of it. The lyric starts with, "I come to this world with nothing. And I shall leave everything when I eventually return to heaven." And I ponder..  RETURN? As if we were there before. But I thought of some verses like, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” Jer 1:5 "For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. "- Rom 8:29 "even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world , that we should be holy and blameless be...

Dear friends... Love is a troublesome matter. So if you really have to risk your heart .. make sure you find someone like that. of whom irregardless of whether  to be or not to be you know one thing for sure you'd choose that person still. ~kaze

I like rain! With its sense of inevitability. It drops, with or without my permission. It sings, with or without my approval. Lullaby or heartbreak song, who knows? but I would smile to its tune, yes ame-san.. you liberate my soul. ~kaze

Just wonder.. Why did this untitled post has so many clicks? I don't even find any popular keywords there. Internet is a weird place. But there it goes.. the little story about us that I promised 'you' few years back. I wish I could have written a better one. Or that I have written earlier. But trust me I have not written a truer one. Hope this year I will journal more. Yeah! Recently a friend has been pestering me about two things, new year resolution and exercise. I am so glad to have such a no-string-attached good friend. We have not always been in contact with one another. But she is somehow always in my 'good friend' list. Maybe coz she went to watch Jay Chou concert with me. This year, I only hope to reconnect with people whom I value but for one reason or another, I lose contact with. Well.. some of them are now busy with kids so can't really disturb them. And I hope they are not feeling suspicious. Coz seriously, I am not doing MLM nor in...

this clip reminds me so much of taiwan. well somehow many things remind me of that country. this clip reminds me of that little cafe that we came across in sun moon lake. yeah that cafe and that ke ai nu hai who worked there. love the tone of this mv somehow. and come to think of it, i guess one of the things I really really want to do is to make feel-good movie. write feel-good story. doo kana...

Happy new year mortals! Well.. funny isn't it how we spend millions and millions of dollars to celebrate a shift from one day to another. Anyway.. I thank God that 2014 is over. the less said about 2014 the better. i know five years from now, i will probably only remember the good things about 2014. but I am lacking the talent to accept everything now (*jay chou's 'an jing' playing) but i will journal here my 'last list' in 2014. The last movie that I watched was Stand by me, Doraemon. That movie is probably the highlight of my 2014 cinema affair. Certainly the best animation of the year for me. And I teared all the way, damn you nobita! The last passages that I read repeatedly, are Hebrews 12 and James 1. Both of which are amazingly relevant. God's Word! Oh how I love it. The last two books that I read, are 'First you have to row a little boat' and 'Zero to One'. Both are secular books. HOWEVER.. oh how they spoke to my ...

Merry Christmas!! Well.. I'd like to make a confession. Actually I am never a huge fan of Christmas even though most my friends are. So every year I try my best to cheer along. From social point of view, can truly understand this whole Christmas frenzy. End of year. Holiday mood. Snow image. Santa. Presents. etc etc. Tis the season to be jolly! And that's totally legit. But as far as the first 6 letters of 'Christmas' are concerned, I am more into Easter than Christmas. If Christianity is a relationship then Easter (or Good Friday to be exact) is our Anniversary Day. Jesus himself wasn't very particular about his birthday. But Christmas is probably the most socially acceptable opportunity to tell others about Jesus.  Thus the beauty of Christmas Carols at Orchard. Thus probably, the true meaning of Christmas. And Christmas leads to New Year; 2015. Sometimes ago I was led to read about the meaning of number 15 . And just recently, when I relate...

Gua suka menulis, karena menulis itu therapeutic. Tapi gua sadar, library kata dan rasa gua, ngga sekaya itu. Jadi suka kagum sama teman2 yg punya bakat dan kemampuan utk menguntai kata. mereka yg menolak norma jaman ini, dan memilih utk bawa dlm tidur segala pengertian dan bijak mereka. Here goes.. sedikit kutipan sana sini dari cerpen seorang Kharisma Tanoto. Negeri Tak Berangin “Malam merintang dan hujan bersastra tentang rasa. Sajak mendayu-dayu namun tiada cara melodi merambat ke gendang telingamu. Sebab jiwaku ini, cinta, adalah negeri tak berangin.” *** Kala itu kulihat wajahnya, telah kukatakan, ‘Hai mata, setelah kau pantulkan obyek tiga dimensi itu ke retina, kirim hasil pantulan itu ke dalam lemari berkas di otakku, dan simpan baik-baik di sana. Jangan biarkan syaraf-syaraf halusmu itu menjalar menyasarkan hasil pantulan wajahnya ke hatiku. Kunci berkas wajah itu di sela yang paling dalam, jangan biarkan hatiku mengaisnya dengan mudah.’ *** Aku terus dihantu...

So while I am currently looking up and down for enlightenment (which obviously isn't anywhere to be seen).. I decided to look back. At right before this 5 years journey started. It was 2008. Someone got married that year. So I wrote this as a parting memento. But looking back now, 2008 seems like the Super Lite version of 2014 hah. It's like 2014 Air. Life is interesting that way. And that's why journal-ing is so,so important in our spiritual life. I just joined the real estate industry back then. Letting go my monthly paycheck. And I made less than $10k that whole year. So work-wise, it wasn't a great year either. Oh and I got cheated 12.5k too that year haha -__-" However.. God spoke that year. So I wrote this and this . Looking back to 2009.. I can only say "wow!". The year 2009 was a breakthrough in many ways. Both in my real estate work as well as in relationship matter. As some of my friends would know. Always give that warm ...

so this is how it feels. the aftermath. the night is calm. the heart.. total wreck. but  morning will still have to come. tonight i lost my sky. and as well, , my gravity. so this is faith stripped naked. stillness in nothingness. but damn.. morning will still have to come. might as well. it is well.

someone once answered this when she was asked in an interview, 'what is your favorite movie?' for many people it is just a trivial matter. maybe for her too.. it was trivia. but it wasn't for me. because we watched that movie together. her face was beaming as we walked out of the theater. and i took a snap of that moment. framed it. and kept it. inside a dungeon locked with a key possessed only by her. and then there was the song that we sang together. even if our voices never really blended that well. but i recorded that track, and played it back a thousand times. i kept pictures and tracks of such moments. and there is never a 'share' button there. well.. that is silly, maybe. or childish, probably. and at best, worth a 'thank you' and a 'but' to her. but you know what..? this life we are living.. it is but a brief moment of vanity. you and me.. we are all heading towards the same place. one day none of these would matt...

iya.. mengapa? kalo dipikir2.. byk hal yg terjadi dalam hidup, yg rasanya.. koq ky ujungnya ky ga ngerti jg dimana enaknya? ga penting gituu Tuhan, ky lalat. memang 80-90% dr kejadian yg kita alami itu.. akan dimengerti satu hari nanti. yg jenis2 kecoa. ga enak tp trnyata utk tujuan indah. dan mgkn hanya butuh lalui 1-2 musim utk dimengerti. " Life can only be understood backwards ; but it must be lived forwards ." - Soren Kierkegaard. Begitu kata si org bijak. tapi  ada segelintir kejadian dlm hidup yg ga akan bs dijelaskan. ada kehilangan yg tak akan bisa tergantikan. ada luka yg tak akan bisa hilang. Lalu.. mengapa? mgkn itulah sebabnya ada sebuah kitab unik terselip di diantara ke 66 kitab yg kita kenal dlm Alkitab. kitab aneh ini ngga jelas secara timeline org2nya itu hidup di jaman apa. ada yg bilang mrk hidup di jaman dinosaurus krn satu dan dua hints. tp yg pasti mrk ga tersangkut-paut dgn karakter2 lain di dlm alkitab Jaman skrg.. ada jg yg bila...

sebagai seseorg yg ngga gitu ngerti biologi, gua sampe skrg masi bertanya2.. mengapa Tuhan menciptakan lalat? gua ngerti kalo nyamuk.. mrk berjasa dlm kontinuiti produksi bubur kodok di geylang. tapi kalo lalat? mana susah bener tepoknya tuh lalat. tentu saja, kita juga bisa bertanya2 mengapa Tuhan menciptakan kecoa. tapi utk yg ini gua bisa menawarkan sedikit penjelasan. jd gini.. wkt gua kecil sempet dititipin di rumah sodara. rumahnya model rumah 4 lantai model jadul gitu. nah dulunya.. mrk tu buka restoran. dapurnya di lantai 2. pas gua tinggal sana uda ga ada restonya. nah mgkn krn background td.. kecoa di dapur mrk itu berkembang biak turun temurun dgn sukses. trus.. pas gua disana, sering banget malem2 diajak bantu berburu kecoa. itu prime time nya para kecoa. tangkepnya pake tangan, trus masukin ke plastik, gelap2 gitu. dimana kecoa nya lg asik bersosialisasi. don't worry kecoa nya bukan utk digoreng koq. tapi utk kasi ikan arwana si uncle gua. jadi.. te...

So I just created my tumblr acct. And not very sure where to go from there. Even this blog has been pretty quiet. But having read Malcolm Gladwell's David & Goliath, I feel like writing again. The moment we stop reading is the moment we stop leading they say. I highly recommend David & Goliath. It challenges us to rethink what we consider as "strong" in our world. And what we consider as "weak". The giants are not really as strong as they seem. and the underdogs are not really as weak as they seem. No one express this paradox better than Paul when he said, "for when I am weak, then I am strong". (2 Cor 12) Now.. this post. I wanna ask.. Apa sih hal yg elo masi sgt penasaran atau sgt pengen banget bangett utk achieve atau taste di dlm hidup ini? Atau yg lo mgkn uda rasain, dan pengen lebihh dan lebihh lagi? Erm.. whats the english for that? Guess.. I am asking, what are the things that you are most curious about in life, thi...

phoenix rises.

"Let's take a stroll." "Bad idea". She lowered her head. "Alright..." I gave in. With a soft kiss on her forehead. "Why.." she stared at me. "My love is as simple as this." She sighed. We walked. Words of two weary lovers. Words we learn as we turn into adults. "I know you don't like to take this walk." her tone was apologetic. "You don't know my price..."This time I sighed. She certainly never thought of this matter. "Your price..?" I nodded. Subtlety were not her forte. So I took her tiny hand. And I kissed lightly. "Hmm..?" "But never mind that. My love is as simple as this." She sighed again. She still didn't get it. "I haven't changed you know." "Me too.. " "Do you know how our future would have been?" Finally a good question. I like that. That's better than asking me what's my plan for our...