Skip to main content

where it ends

when i went back for hols.. i spent time contemplating..
on many stuff..
like.. i was wondering why one of my most frequently recurring dream is that of me, somehow, going back to high school. and the scenario is always the same. we are having our final exams. yeah.. not exactly a sweet dream.

so i wonder.. was God trying to tell me something?
like.. maybe i should make a trip back to my highschool? i planned to but i didn't in the end.
or.. i thot.. maybe God is telling me that my calling is to be a teacher?
i considered this scenario seriously.. coz i think i love to be a teacher.

but then.. a third scenario came to mind.
maybe.. God reminded me of that time.. the last time when i knew for certain, what my goals were, where i wanted to end.

i knew i wanted to score as high as possible in my final exam, and i knew i wanted to get myself a scholarship.
everyday i woke up knowing clearly what my goals were.

in many ways, i lost that hunger when i got into NUS.. maybe partly bcoz i knew i didn't have to pay for my school fee. i lost the goals. and i didn't know where i wanted to be in the end.

people change church or job, move to other countries, or get into relationship,
just so that they could have a change.. and be re-motivated.
i have tried some of those.. but they are all temporary.
i suppose if you don't know what your goals are,
it doesn't make a difference even if you buy yourself a ticket to Palestina or Africa.
it gives you that brief excitement.. that's all.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Father

I am reading the book "Wild at Heart". One of the most striking points that the author made was that of how many, if not almost all, men are most severely wounded by their own father. You would have thought that your dad will be the one who believes in you when everyone else is doubting you. You expect him to do so. Coz when he does, you know that it ain't matter even if the rest are against you. So when it turns out that he is siding with those who doubt you. It hurts the most. It kills off your hope. It strips you off your courage and belief to be a real man. Because the man who is suppose to show you how to be a real man, the one whose approval matters the most.. does not side with you. He loves you.. yes. But a father's role is not simply to love and nurture. He is more than just that. He is your assurance, stronghold, strength. He leads you into adventure, he fights with you side by side, he shows you how to rescue a beauty. When your father of flesh and blood ca...

journal: a little update

wow I am actually back to this blog. between Apr 27 2018 and now.. what has happened? I officially proposed to my girlfriend (wah.. trust me you gonna miss that word), got married, and.. became a dad. yeah.. all in a matter of less than 2 years. now when you consider the fact that in 2015 I would not have the slightest idea how things would turn out, it just goes to show how life changes in a blink. How is married life? Well.. I am one of those who has pretty pragmatic view when it comes to marriage. I have seen enough to know that relationship is messy. So.. I must say marriage has been way way better than my expectation hah.. For example.. I knew that my wife is a smart woman. I knew some of her shortcoming too.. (and there are some I didn't know till we got married, of course) BUT... here's the big bonus. I didn't know she can be that adorably funny in her own way. Not funny like a standup comedian funny but.. you know.. she makes me laugh. Trust me....

Yasuko to Kenji

Watched till the 8th episode, and each episode always has its touching moments, as well as silly moments. Not a spectacular drama, but a good one for sure. And the guy is a mangaka... oh no.. the dream that was buried long time ago... Go to mysoju.com if you'd like to watch. Amagasa - Yasuko to Kenji OST, by Tokio soo ka.... Tokio also sang My boss My hero's OST, Sorafune I think i like this band