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I once illustrated to someone what.. I think.. marriage is about.
and she asked me.. where did you quote those words from?
probably she thought those words were kinda.. too cool to come out from my mind.

Ah.. but.. there is something you don't know girl.
The thing is.. I have seen enough case of failed. broken, tarnished marriages.
in my own way, I once was on my knees.. Praying and fighting to keep a marriage alive.

in fact.. where 20-30 yrs old marriage is concerned.. I have not seen a perfect one.
Anything close to that.. I merely heard about them. from the pulpit.
Hence.. my belief. hence.. I.

so today.. I was wondering..
well I thought I understood relationship and marriage.
What I didn't understood apparently.. is courtship. It's the 'game'. Hated to play along.
And I fail miserably. till today.

So..at this juncture..
when heart is bare naked, and life is laid down.
and all I get..
is.. a request.

Well...
I told my chat-till-morning-pgp-good-old-friend..
Probably as far as the above stuff is concerned,
I will just abandon everything I have been holding onto and believing in.
Might as well.

There is only one thing that has been constant through it all.
God, thankfully.. is my good shepherd.