..my battle stance..

The earthquake in Taiwan was in many ways eye-opener. We are helplessly counting on internet nowadays. It's a fact. I am not working at Reuters or Bloomberg and even I was left devastated. Two days without internet at the office. No google = no information = no idea = no result. Of course sometimes when there is internet, you could still end up with no result heh. Too much entertainment means too little work done. Will be going to Bangkok tomorrow.. Let's just hope that it's going to be fun. Been feeling bad this last few days. So it's true after all that I have not tried hard enough to make things work for both of us. And I am glad that you said it yourself. Coz when it's you who said it, I simply have to accept it. So I can only swallow the bitter pill of truth. I looked at myself last night and told myself: "You know what, you are a bad lover after all" Good that I never lost my smile =D And it's funny that I too thought that you have not appreciat...

the hesitant autumn, dancing leaves, melancholic wind. the departing person, forced kisses, unwanted end. that still winter, faceless snowman, bleeding breeze. your endless absence, vain persistence, illogical tear. and naive spring, early cherry blossom, forgiving sun. the princess of dawn, affectionate smile, faithful ring. the liberated summer.

Not so creative a title eh. Anywayz.. Realised that I have not written a single christmas card this year. It was all SMS and although I did think of the words on my own, it was still not good enuf as I was just sending everyone the same message. Sending those SMS while trapped in an overhyped and overrated Orchard Road was not easy. And funny that, as it has always happened in the previous years, it's always the same group of people who made the initiative to send me SMS (with few additional newcomers =P ), and probably, the same set of people who would not bother to reply. No.. actually 'you' are the only one who did not reply. Good that I'm used to it lol. Spent the Christmas Eve with some of my cellgroup mates after church. Some good laughs, nice chats, and killing questions heh. That "tell me about your last love life" question was definitely tough. But since it was Christmas eve and tis the season for giving, so I shared my story hoho. I only hope that th...

Sing without you.. I'll sing without you... Heh the song keep playing inside my head. It's "Longing", sang by X Japan. A band once enjoyed the distinction of being Japan's no. 1. Their ballads are quite good, very good, erm.. very very good. I dun think you will believe that they could do ballad if you look at their costume, hair, etc. Anyway.. I discovered few days ago that coding and classical music make good combination. I am not THAT musical to be able to appreciate classical music but I suppose it really gives you that calm and speaking of calm.. classical music also happens to be a good choice for nap. And upon further observation.. I think the thing is.. I like violin!! The gentle sound that feels imaginary.. surreal.. dreamy. But the main thing is.. I gotta go now. It's holiday ^^

Went for another career talk. The person talking was one of the VP of the company. He was every inch a salesperson. Geez.. salesmanship is just so not me. These people, they thought they were smarter than the rest. Those fake "friendly tap", fake praises.. sigh. And every sentence was the tried and tested script. They had probably used it for thousands times all over the world. They seemed to think that they know how to control your mind. You just can't tell whether they are speaking from their heart or not. Tongue is indeed a very powerful and dangerous weapon. Oh well.. I just wanted to tell these kind of people: "Stop trying to manipulate people! You don't know everything after all" And the training that I will take part in, it is somekind of motivational course, with the last two session being NLP related. Honestly.. I am really not into such stuff. "It's all in your mind", they say. It sounds good and logical ya. But if you were to follow ...

Er.. not my wedding obviously. It was my friends' wedding. Albert and Meili, gotta love them! =) The man is one of the nicest guys around. I can't think of any reason to dislike him. The woman is one of the girls who shine the brightest in my opinion. The proposal video was awesome. I am not sure if I want my own proposal moment to be recorded though. Kudos to all those who had taken part in preparing for the wedding ceremony. It certainly was very well done. Went to Peninsula Hotel afterwards. There was Adon (basejam) who came over to Oikos church. They call it a concert but those who are used to this should know that this is basically a praise and worship session with Adon leading. I like the girl (forgot the name) who got to sing one song after Adon's session, she got nice voice. Edo, who invited us, was energetic as worship leader. He surely got charisma and now we all know that's the kind of guy most girls would fall for, heh. A christmas dinner followed and had th...

I was SHOCKED when I woke up and reached out for my mobile, it said "9:49"!! I often overslept but 9.49 gotta be a record. Anyway, I chop chop did my morning ritual and rushed down for cab. As I walked out of my apartment I was telling God "You know, I was not being lazy and never wanted to be this late today God.. So , I guess you may have some plan in store for this." The moment I reached the road, a Comfort cab came and I jumped in. "Morning" he said.. Ah.. english speaking driver. He casually tried to converse with me, talking about the heavy rain that has been so regular lately, about his working hours, and then.. his son. Apparently, he worked hard to pay for his son's marriage, house and everything in the past and the only reward he got was to be kicked out of that house by his son. He now rented a room with his wife who got high blood pressure. So his income was spent to pay for the room rental, their daily necessity and his wife's medicine...

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death Your perfect love is casting out fear And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life I won’t turn back I know You are near And I will fear no evil For my God is with me And if my God is with me Whom then shall I fear? Whom then shall I fear? Chorus: Oh no, You never let go Through the calm and through the storm Oh no, You never let go In every high and every low Oh no, You never let go Lord, You never let go of me And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on A glorious light beyond all compare And there will be an end to these troubles But until that day comes We’ll live to know You here on the earth Chorus: Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on And there will be an end to these troubles But until that day comes Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

I watched "After This Our Exile" with elsa, mbun, my bro, and mbun's fren, Initially, as the movie ended, we were gobsmacked and were wondering if we had just kinda wasted two hours on a rather pointless movie. Much as I admired Aaron Kwok's acting, I was not really satisfied with the whole story. elsa said it was kinda draggy and I thought it was kinda eventless. Which is so much like real life. Which got me thinking now that.. it was really a good movie. You would wish to fastforward many parts of the movie, you think you got the point, it's not fun and let's move on to the next interesting event. But sometimes in life.. you just have to endure those moments. Fastforward is never an option. Not everyday is fairytale. The son would wish to fastforward the part where he had to wander around while his father leisurely spent good time with a woman who was not his mother. But he can't, can he? And most of us are just as anonymous as the father and son in the ...

you said that you didn't want to be the reason for my unhappiness. but.. can i be the reason for your happiness?

Not really a fan of JG but his new album, Awake, was there right by the entrance of HMV and somehow I felt like it was begging me to give it a chance =P The first song I listened to was "You are loved" and gosh.. I lovee the song, and the lyric. 'powerful' is the word. God bless Josh Groban ^^ You are loved (Don't Give up) By. Josh Groban Don`t give up It`s just the weight of the world When you`re heart`s heavy I…I will lift it for you Don`t give up Because you want to be heard If silence keeps you I…I will break it for you Everybody wants to be understood Well I can hear you Everybody wants to be loved Don`t give up Because you are loved Don`t give up It`s just the hurt that you hide When you lost inside I…I will be there to find you Don`t give up Because you want to burn bright If darkness blinds you I…I will shine to guide you Everybody wants to be understood Well I can hear you Everybody wants to be loved Don`t give up Because you are loved You are loved Don`t...

Oh my God.. You love to joke don't you? Just the time I am struggling with my own heart problem, my cellgroup mate asked for my advice on how to respond to the guy she likes. *Faint. If only she knows what her leader is dealing with now =P But God loves to put me in such situation. As if every struggle and downfall that I had, they will be used for someone else's good in the future. Good then. I shared the Word of God on slaying giant, stepping out in faith. And now I face my giants. And today God gives me a nice understanding. Focus on the giants, the prize will come afterwards.. I am slaying the giants, for God, for you.

A very nice song (imo), soundtrack of a chinese serial Tian Wai Fei Xian, featuring Ariel Lin (which I slowly grow to love despite her super round face haha). Because.. because.. her voice is also very cute hah. Me and my weakness. As for the song.. heh.. it just breaks my heart to listen to it. Dunno why.

This helplessness it's amazing.. How love bring me back to this familiar place. David.. he is too ordinary after all. Save me.. my extraordinary Friend!!

No armor, no weapon, nothing but a pair of willing feet. No promise of victory, nothing but a faith in the living God. That if He were to side with me, I will never fail to prosper. So I make my move. I can't give this up until I have fought a proper battle. Therefore I boldly pray and ask of Your favor, Jesus. The mighty name I am living for, believing in. Your will be done.

Somehow I like this song of Yui the most. Her childlike voice is just perfect for this song, which she composed herself naturally. And now I can tell for sure.. Yui reminds me of one person called Mia. Something about their stage aura. Oh the clip is not bad, especially the part showing her lying down with a pair of tsubasa.

Resah ini, seakan mengerang, dalam jiwa yang tak sanggup bersarang Gundah ini. Mau berontak bebas, diperanak langit lepas. Pengecutkah itu? Tak paham aku.

And now Rahmat lost his father. This kind of news.. we don't hear that often few years back. But we are twenty something and our dads are about fifty something. Some are sixty something. Sikatanai desu ne. The inevitable.