..my battle stance..

Happy birthday to Sista.. my most.. trustworthy.. dayang ^^ A slightly late one. I have to surrender you now to a good man haha. He is not only good.. he is blessed to have you. And so are we.. we are blessed to have such a reliable sista. I can always count on your words and promises. And in many ways.. you have been such a help in times of need. My God, our God.. El Shaddai.. shall bless your life with love and joy each day. And for dianaw.. congratulation for your upcoming wedding =) An early one.. to my.. most apa ya.. basically my favorite dayang =P Favorite because you are most fun to fool around and talk crap with lol. And of course.. because you are one of the three musketeers hoho. Darn.. i also have to surrender you to another good man. This is not fair =P my prayer.. that you will lead a blissful marriage life, in its sweetest and simplest way.. just like how you always like it to be. Now.. get ready for the happening weekend. Followed by.. a woohoo week where I will be clo...

God is most magnificent in the eye of wild storm. no matter how much we love peace we can't deny the fact that what he gives us are battle gears- the sword, shield, helmet and armor. it seems predestined that this love affair involves battlefields. after all.. the Prince of Peace made peace between us and the Almighty, by leading His one man army on a battle against death, against the rest of the world and hell in full force. He went into the devil's headquarter, turned their base into a huge mess, and returned victorious. This is our God.

Cinta Tak Pernah Salah - Tangga Ternyata cinta takkan pernah salah Tak pergi kemana Ternyata cinta takkan pernah salah Tak pergi kemana Takkan ku jera tuk jatuh cinta Jatuh cinta kepadamu setiap waktu Setiap ... waktu ...

Be My Wife - Tangga

Saat semua resah meluruh sayapnya Saat yang kumiliki hanya nafas ini Sekaranglah itu, beginilah aku Hanya detak jantungku yang mampu jujur kepadamu Sementara lidahku beku dan keluh Setengah mati ingin menghilang Bukan Lagu Cinta- Marcell feat Karen

i guess it's understandable how a good man could turn into a villain like 'two face' in the 'dark knight' movie. coz some good people are so full of act it's sickening.

Gmail is brilliant. (I am not paid to say this) I was looking at my inbox (with 2975 mails unread, no need to guess the total mails i have). And I wondered.. what are those unread mails about? Then I found myself traveling back to the past.. scanning through stuff that bring back memories. And I realise once again.. my memory is too weak to capture perfectly these moments. I could never recapture the feeling we had that very day. No matter how much I love them, my memory is simply too weak to be faithful. Nonetheless.. reading thru these emails is like opening up the photo albums.. photo after photo of the past. So let me share them here (randomly). Starting with this one by makangrup, the now extinct group consisting of darvin, ata, jo, hery, elsa, dian, fenny, iwan, andre, me (miss anyone?) Email sent by: Ata Date: Jan 11 2005 Subject: Project 8: tantangan 8 biji - tiada henti Ya selamat pagi anak anak, Seperti telah di bahas kemaren, hari ini kita akan mengadakan menyaksikan tekat s...

love is patient sigh.. it all begins with patience. .. coz love is patient phew.. patient.

the almighty who is beyond everything and anything we could ever define in human language. And I will say of the Lord.. my God.

dalam sunyi dan dalam diam bibir terkatup dan mata yang terpejam jantung ini mengerti dengan pasti cinta mengalir menderu dalam nadi

used to think that it doesn't matter whether this life is long or short. but i am scolding myself now for that. well.. i still think that life does not have to be long in order to be meaningful. but.. i am now praying that i will live long.. long and healthy. long and meaningful. because i realise that life can indeed be beautiful, and when you have 1001 things you wish to do with someone, life better be long.

Selagi semuanya memang sempurna. Selagi semuanya baik-baik saja. Aku merekam detik itu dan menggenggamnya erat-erat. rectoverso- dee

Yeah.. seems that the first promotion beckons. So the next leap is.. to achieve the 2nd before January 1st 2010. By God's grace, I will achieve this. Fighting!

"Wherever we've been, wherever we're going, I'm content in this moment, knowing that we travel one more day together as.. whatever." rectoverso- dee

Hujan. Bukankah kamu bilang, kamu suka mencium bau hujan? Kamu juga suka berdiri diam diguyur hujan lebat. Kamu.. "Dia paling suka hujan." suara gadis itu menyadarkanku. Yuri Kinamoto namanya. Cantik, tapi bukan itu.. bukan itu yang menjadi daya tarik terkuatnya. Matanya. That starry eyes. Tatapan yang seakan sanggup menelanjangi dan mengerti setiap rahasiaku. Tatapan yang begitu penuh dengan hidup. Tatapan yang seakan menawarkan untuk menanggung setiap beban hatiku. Eyes of the goddess. Aku mengangguk. "Dia cerita?" Dia menggeleng. Lalu tersenyum. Matanya menerawang jauh. "Hari itu.. aku sedang berjalan pulang dari sekolah. Hujan lebat, lebat sekali. Kamu tau kan di Jepang selalu ada satu bulan di musim semi dimana hujan turun terus menerus?" Aku mengangguk. Kamu pernah bercerita tentang itu. Yuri melanjutkan ceritanya. "Lalu aku melihat si bodoh itu. Dia sedang berdiri seperti patung sawah ditengah padang bunga kami. Tangannya membentang seperti ora...

Sekalipun segelas air putih, tak lebih indah dari pangeran dalam mimpi. karena segelas air putih, setia menanti tanpa perlu kau bermimpi. Sekalipun segelas air putih, butuh semasa untuk punya arti. namun lebih baik segelas air putih, karena demikianlah cinta kan abadi. *termakan novel pinjaman*

Braddellites are still struggling against the mighty virus. So are the people in Darvin's house, and Delwin whom I met today. Flu is the trend nowadays. And Braddell has slowly grown into a prestigious international residential destination. We got many good looking caucasians patronizing our dearest coffee shop, 'Jalan Benar'. And today, I met a young couple at my block's elevator. The guy said, "How r you doing?" To which I only nodded, smiled. Then they start chatting.. in Japanese. *norak mode on* We got Japanese neighbor!!!

Click on the image to enlarge Die Hard 1 Die Hard 2 Die Hard 3 lol i was forwarded these stupid comic strip yesterday. the more i look at it the funnier it gets.

two years had passed. just watched harry potter. and realised that I am still waiting for the next Stardust to hit the cinema. i am still more in love with stardust kind of story. and i am still in love with the song You light the skies, up above me A star, so bright, you blind me Don’t close your eyes Don’t fade away, don’t fade away, oh Yeah you and me we can ride on a star If you stay with me girl We can rule the world Yeah you and me we can light up the sky If you stay by my side We can rule the world so.. stay =)

Natalie had been working as parttime waitress in this cafe for three or three and half months. She had seen different kind of people coming and going. She had also seen the same kind of people who would patron the place now and then. And then.. there were also certain type of people that would always be around every day, without fail. One of them was this man who came by everyday at 4 pm and would always choose the same corner table and would always be around for two hours. He came at 4 pm and left at 6 pm every day, rain or shine. Natalie thought that the man must be either a spy or a freak. She never paid special attention to this guy initially. One fine spring day, this man came with a little girl. He broke the pattern! He had never been with anyone before, much less a little girl. Natalie was curious. She knew that she had no reason to be curious and yet, she found herself walking towards that man's table. Now that she stood right there, she didn't know what to do or say. ...

that scent is such a wonderful thing

abis baca cerpen nya si dewi lestari. cerpen yang menemani lagu terkenal itu.. malaikat juga tahu. dan si penulis mengungkapkan satu kebenaran yang erm.. sangat benar. si wanita dicintai dua pria. pria pertama yang mencinta dia lebih dari sepenuhnya, pria pertama yang mencinta dia tanpa punya pilihan untuk kemungkinan yang lain. dan pria kedua yang mencintai dia.. mungkin sepenuhnya, pria kedua yang memiliki pilihan.. lalu memilih dia. si wanita mencintai satu pria, pria kedua yang memiliki pilihan dan memilih dia. karena si wanita tidak ingin dicintai oleh seseorang yang tidak punya pilihan. sekalipun boleh diadu cinta kedua pria itu, malaikat juga tahu, siapa juaranya. karena kita tidak selalu memilih dia yang paling mencintai. seperti halnya kita tidak selalu dipilih dia yang paling kita cintai.

There is only one explanation to the 8th one: prayer. My mum unfailingly pray for me every day for the last 28 years. (the only person whose love i have given up competing against.. i simply won't be able to love her more in return). Sometimes, when she told me over the phone that she prays this and that for me.. I would just take it for granted. But for the 8th case.. what can i say? A complete stranger left a message: 'i want to sell my property'. There were so many agents in the website and they picked me? Some unbelievable events took place. two days after i visited his place, his neighbor came knocking, wanting to buy his house. i have not signed any agreement with him. only verbal agreement between us. he could have dealt directly with the buyer to avoid paying me comms. instead he told the buyer, "i have an agent, pls liaise with him". I was like.. "whaat.... " when he told me that. i didn't expect such loyalty even from a friend, (coz i doubt...

I have reasons to wish for the time to fly fast and furious. And I have reasons to wish for the time to waltz slow or even stand still. Sigh..

Hear my heart it's calling to You my never-ending none that I desire but You... - All for You (TW Youth)

If this love is a crime, I would rather be convicted.

The oldest known anime in existence was screened in 1917 - a two minute clip of a samurai trying to test a new sword on his target, only to suffer defeat. (source: the crunchyroll takeout)

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." — Dr. Seuss "A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her." — Max Lucado soo ka..

It is beyond comprehension, why someone who speaks to the God of universe daily, live in the wonder and beauty of His perfect creation, would trade his paradise for a bite of fruit? But thankfully, such 'foolishness' was surpassed.. when history recorded that the God of universe decided to leave His Heavenly throne to save the day. He traded His life for the life of a wretch like me. Even though I had traded Him for a bite of fruit.. countless times.

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. -Albert Einstein 'That I will wake up everyday, Knowing that indeed this is not a dream, that you are indeed staying by my side.'

Then Jesus went to work on his disciples. "Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat; I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose yourself? What could you ever trade your soul for? (Matthew 16:24-26 The Message) Show me the way, Drover.

buat apa membentuk baris jadi puisi, sementara cinta tak perlu bersuara. ngapain juga berperkara dengan kepala, sementara cinta bernafas dengan hati.

We are not satisfied.. he said. That's right.. I find myself where I was last Sunday, because I was not satisfied. I was not satisfied to just be able to sing sweet songs to my God.. and be indulged in His presence. I want to know Him more. And I know He wants to display Himself more. I am no longer comfortable with the sight of.. someone standing on the pulpit, asking all of us "do you want to be rich?" and then.. impart the instant anointing to all of us who 'wants to be rich'. Not because I don't believe in anointing. But because I believe the guy on the pulpit should have told us also that.. God with all his richness and power is ALREADY in you. All you need is to KNOW your GOD.. and engage your world with the GOD you KNOW. Speaking in tongue is good.. but don't you know that the most powerful words spoken in the bible.. was spoken in human language? Even God spoke to his people in human language. Singing in His house is wonderful.. but don't you r...

it's true that you are hurt many times. but the fact that you are hurt, does not give you the right and reason to hurt someone else. it's true that you are so much loved. and the fact that you are loved, give you the ability and reason to love someone else.

...hmmmm...

jika kamu..

Using nebulizer hoho. Darn.. really must lose weight now. Today I went to see doctor and out of curiosity, I checked for the date I last visited the clinic. It was 6 Jan 2009. Not bad.. half a year. When I was still on desk-bound work, I visited doctor quite often. Because quite often, I felt not well. And sometimes.. heh.. I just need the MCs =P Nowadays.. well.. I thank God for taking care of my health =) *must get healed quick quick!!*

pujangga malang.. kau rangkai kata dari sepi dari perih dan hancur hati kau sulam janji mu ribuan malam sampai habis nafas cintamu terpendam pujangga malang.. dunia simpati tanpa mengerti goresan luka hatimu jadi abadi percuma setia mu ribuan malam sampai habis nafas cintamu terpendam. *buat apa menyandang nama gibran?*

karena mulut tak pernah mengerti bahasa hati, dan hati senantiasa memberontak terhadap otak.

panta stegei, panta pisteuei, panta elpigei, panta upomenei. (ini bukan bahasa sunda, sodara2, ini greek^^ ) love.. bear all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (1 Cor 13:4-7)

This was written January 30th, 2007. Hah.. how time flies. But I promise someone I will try to continue writing. So let's start with the ones I had in draft. Pisah "Kenapa sih kamu.. kamu cuma bisa diam?" Kamu untuk kesekian kalinya menanyakan pertanyaan itu. Suaramu makin melemah. Putus asa. Sakit. Aku tau hatimu pasti sakit. Aku juga. Rumah sakit. Memang ini tempat tujuan orang2 yang sakit. Tapi sakit hati? Tentu saja di rumah sakit banyak orang yang sakit hatinya, melihat orang2 yang mereka cintai terbaring tak berdaya. Sakit hati karena cinta? Mungkin saat ini.. cuma kita berdua yang begitu. Cuma aku dan kamu, Terry dan Rika. "Kamu ngga bisa ngelupain dia, aku ngerti. Kamu ngga bisa mencintai aku, aku ngerti. Bahkan kamu ngga bisa bae sama aku, aku coba untuk ngerti. Tapi aku ngga ngerti.. ngga ngerti kenapa kamu harus pergi." Kamu merunduk, berusaha menyembunyikan mata basahmu. Aku menengadah.. berusaha menerbangkan pedihku. Mungkinkah aku ngga cinta sama k...

sering kita tidak tahu, bukan karena kita tidak tahu. tapi karena kita tidak mau untuk tahu. sering kita tidak mengerti, bukan karena kita tidak mengerti. tapi karena kita tidak peduli untuk mengerti

Hm.. what else can we say about this guy? He is one of those who surpass the definition of superstar. No other artist is greater than him and probably, for my entire life, that would remain the case. And without exaggerating, if there is another planet with human beings in this universe, he would have won them over as well. He called himself an illusionist. That's interesting.. I remember an article that I read. About some guy who, by his own admission, had the privilege to experience heaven (or hell, I can't remember).. And one of the discoveries he made was that MJ, along with David Copperfield (also an illusionist).. were among the high ranking officials of Lucifer. Well my point here is not to support or oppose that story. (I tend not to consider seriously anyone who tell me about their heaven/hell experience, unless it's Paul the Apostle). But I was thinking.. MJ was such a genius that it was almost convincing that he got his gift from some supernatural source. In any ...

Keeps no record of wrongs You want to make a list? Then list his mercies. List the times God has forgiven you. Stand face to feet with the form of your crucified Savior and pray, "Jesus.. if you can forgive me for hurting you, then I can forgive them for hurting me." You didn't deserve to be hurt by them. But neither did you deserve to be forgiven by him. Couldn't think of the moment when you hurt God? Think again.. Have you ever been dishonest with his money? That's cheating. Has your love for flesh or fame turned you away from him? That's adultery. Ever spoken an angry word with intent to hurt? Guilty of assault. Have you ever been silent while he was mocked? Don't we call that treason? Ever gone to church to be seen rather than to see him? That's hypocrite. Only few questions and we find ourselves guilty. Don't you deserve to be punished? And yet, here you are. Reading this. Breathing. Still witnessing sunsets and hearing babies gurgle. Still wa...

*from Lawrence Kong's sermon, with my own interpretation* When one looks for the perfect specimen of God's people, the creme de la creme of the men of God, from Abel to Timothy.. they would find Daniel and his friends in the list. the best among the best. unblemished, uncompromising, and excellent- in its purest definition. While David surrendered to the beauty of Bathsheba, Daniel stood tall and unmoved before the wrath of hungry lions. The book of Daniel has one main message- trust in God's sovereignty. Even in the darkest hours of your life, even when you are led and surrounded by the most wicked of the wicked, even when every visible proof of God's faithfulness is crushed before your eyes.. trust in God's sovereignty. Daniel began the story by telling us that it was God.. who allowed Nebuchadnezzar to destroy his people, his nation. Yes.. the temple of God was crushed before his eyes. And yes.. God's intervention was nowhere to be seen. But Daniel knew that ...

We just had our first not-so-secret-society gathering today ^^ It starts small. Which is good.. coz that means that our number will only grow in future. But numbers is God's business.. excellence is ours. Success is God's part.. obedience is ours. God allowed the church to grow phenomenally in Jerusalem. 3000 were saved when Peter had his debut preaching at the upper room. But God also allowed them to be persecuted and scattered all around the region. For a good reason. We plant the seeds, He grows them.

My handsome face is back here wakaka.. Ahh.. finally.. another tiny step, another huge thanksgiving. Thank you friends.. there is simply no price for such loyalty ^^ and God.. where would I be without Your lovingkindness and grace? The road ahead looks challenging once again.. so I'll need you to sing me this song =) I can almost see it That dream I am dreaming But there's a voice inside my head saying "You'll never reach it" Every step I'm taking Every move I make feels Lost with no direction My faith is shaking But I gotta keep trying Gotta keep my head held high There's always gonna be another mountain I'm always gonna wanna make it move Always gonna be a uphill battle Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose Ain't about how fast I get there Ain't about what's waiting on the other side It's the climb The struggles I'm facing The chances I'm taking Sometimes might knock me down But no, I'm not breaking I may not know it But t...

*two and half years after this piece was written, i hope i am now standing at the doorstep of the princess of dawn" the hesitant autumn, dancing leaves, melancholic wind. the departing person, forced kisses, unwanted end. that still winter, faceless snowman, bleeding breeze. your endless absence, vain persistence, illogical tear. and naive spring, early cherry blossom, forgiving sun. the princess of dawn, affectionate smile, faithful ring. the liberated summer

3 baris kata yang sangat berarti. 3 baris kata yang ntah mengapa.. selalu dinanti 3 baris kata yang perlahan.. mengisi hati. yang tak teryakin oleh kata, akan kurajut dalam masa. yang tak terjawab oleh mata, akan Dia jadikan karena percaya. at times it scares you that something could mean so much to you. because the thing that means that much could hurt that much. but then you look up to the big blue sky above and you smile.. knowing that you have become foolish once again. foolish enough to open up your heart and give someone else the ability to break it. just because..

well.. not exactly morning yet. its 4 AM. i have a lot to say.. but lets just pick a topic. its 1 July 2009. second half of the year. i re-read what i wrote in the past. somehow i tend to do that every time i return from jakarta. re-evaluate my life, etc. today i met via, and it occurred to me that.. we have known one another for 13 years or so.. woah.. i am not sure if i have gotten any wiser in the last 13 years. but i am glad that i still have love to give, in its most fragile and unpretentious way. and i am glad that when i thought that was the furthest i could go as far as love was concerned, i was proven wrong. life is indeed interesting.