..my battle stance..

As I indulge in my disgust for humanity, for the wickedness (or stupidity) of people in my country, for the irony and hypocrisy that I see every day, help me to remember grace instead. help me to remember that above all, You have loved me.. and forgive my most wicked heart.

Just for personal log. As the year is coming to an end.. I wonder if we have become better persons in some way. Like.. you know.. what is one thing about you that you know is a major weakness you need to overcome? And that you are working on this year? For me.. I got quite a number of 'major weaknesses'. One of them is that I take myself too seriously. I do not have enough inward security- To take myself lightly. To be more YOLO, as they say. To not take criticism or setback personally. This quality is paramount. I know it. It allows you to take on disappointment and setback with lightheartedness. It helps you to maintain your calm and confidence as you continue to push on. Yet I have not mastered it. God helping, I pray that this will be one precious lesson I master this year.

I have been wanting to have a trip, a break.. to somewhere that is culturally different from my normal setting (Singapore / Indonesia). Could have gone to Bangalore as well as Shanghai as there was work related event there. but for one reason or another, I could not make it. So it was a pleasant surprise that last week, my biz partner suddenly told our team that there will be event in HK in which we are invited. Somehow the timing works, and I thought.. yeah, let's go. So we went. The event was co-hosted by monetary authority of HK. I have never been invited to Singapore's one all my life. So it was kinda funny that I found myself on the 56th floor of their HK counterpart office with this crazy view. And all those important people from some of the biggest banks there, investors, and start up founders. Well.. how mysterious. the way God works. I never fancied HK. and I still prefer waking up every day to sweet Taiwanese accent rather than rude Cantonese scol...

I love Autumn a lot more than any other season. Which is strange. Because I have never experienced this season. But I just 'knew' it.. or so I believe. So it feels kinda surreal when I decided to book 3 nights stay at an airbnb place in Kyoto. My first time booking airbnb btw. My first autumn, my first solo trip. To the country I love the most. I wonder if they are still my element. We'll see. Yeah.. November in Kyoto. The peak of the falling leaves. I have never heard of friends who spend 3 nights in Kyoto. Which is good. I just have this weird urge to take a slightly different path. Sometimes that path leads to wonderful discovery such as Mealtop at Seoul, sometimes it leads to.. I dunno.. this solo trip? ^___^ or TLG bible camp this year. as 'obvious' as it seems to you, I must say that I have no real reason to join. Just because. Somehow. Now back to this Japan trip.. Every time people ask me.. "whom are you traveling with?" I ki...

Seems like an appropriate time to blog again. On the theme of new season. The Premier League new season starts this weekend. And as I am typing now, Arsenal are getting trashed by Liverpool. Wonderful! -___-" As if I don't have enough heartbreak to deal with. Life is interesting in that if you live long enough, and if you are fortunate enough.. you will get to experience what the Chinese describes as the 酸甜苦辣 of life. the sourness, sweetness, bitterness, and spiciness of life. And at times, you experience mixture of these four at the same time. Life is also interesting in how there is always a perfect calm after the most horrendous storm. As if everything that seemed to rock your world just vanished into thin air.

Maybe one day it will get translated into a decent Chinese song lyric hah. *just scribbling Accidental. Such was our first meeting. It was a summer kind of night. There you were. Opening the door you should not have opened. There I was. Walking into a space I should not have entered. Vaguely.. I remember our second. It was an ordinary weekend. That basement, which has vanished now without trace. Just like our photo stickers, faded into pieces inside my wallet. chorus: So many times, we thought 'we should not have' and each time, we reached out to the other party nonetheless. So many times, we asked 'should we have?' and each time, we buried the question with the sweetest kiss.

and just like that, summer comes. mid year..where we stand between early and late. i took less 'day off', less 'TV on' this year. not that I work particularly harder. but I work with somewhat greater focus, I think. it's enjoyable. never thought I would say that about work. I remember I told my mentor that I sometimes worry about my lack of networking skill. and he told me he always believes that God will take care of his network. it just sinks deep in me. that simple statement. a good friend just referred to me a client out of nowhere few days ago. I wouldn't have envisioned such scenario. but truly God has his way of looking after our needs. it's quite funny how money or financial need is probably ranked no. 1 as the culprit that causes our anxiety or even breakdown of family relationship or friendship. it could be a (or THE) factor that makes you decide whether to marry someone or not. baby sometimes love's just ain't enough :) wh...

sometimes you just wanna lie curled up in bed and shut your mind off. sometimes that's your only way of regaining your courage to get back into the fight the next morning. phew..... -___-"

This gem is worth revisiting times and again. What Satan put into the heads of our remote ancestors was the idea that they could “be like gods”—could set up on their own as if they had created themselves—be their own masters—invent some sort of happiness for themselves outside God, apart from God. And out of that hopeless attempt has come nearly all that we call human history—money, poverty, ambition, war, prostitution, classes, empires, slavery—the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy. God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing. From Mere Christianity

one step forward.. this warm fog, it must have been spring. one goodbye smile.. this warm heart, could it be divine? the thing with road map is.. my north needle is a lost soul. wrong turn filling the chapters, maybe it is right to be wrong all along. how else could i have found you? here and now, ten years less one.. we gasp, we laugh, we pause, we walk along. the title of this chapter is 'courage'.

hello there.. i just want to say that.. i think.. i like her.

I just can't get enough of this guy's mind and insight. Again.. not necessarily correct all the time. A wonderful one nonetheless. Again.. probably we are just the same kind of soul. "Traditional doctrine points to a sin against God, an act of disobedience, not a sin against the neighbour. And certainly, if we are to hold the doctrine of the Fall in any real sense, we must look for the great sin on a deeper and more timeless level than that of social morality. This sin has been described by Saint Augustine as the result of Pride , of the movement whereby a creature (that is, an essentially dependent being whose principle of existence lies not in itself but in another) tries to set up on its own, to exist for itself. Such a sin requires no complex social conditions, no extended experience, no great intellectual development. From the moment a creature becomes aware of God as God and of itself as self, the terrible alternative of choosing God or self for th...

Came across this guy accidentally at Quora. He happens to have a blog that I think is very good for you to follow if you are into entrepreneurship. http://www.evanasano.com/ I make mistake often. and repeatedly. It has to do with the fact that I happen to be a risk taker even though I never intend to be one. I think one of my biggest flaws is that I do not learn enough from mistakes. or not fast enough it seems. That.. partly is because I did not really write it down even if I would ponder on it again and again. And partly it is down to my stubborn nature. It's a Taurean thing. Looking back, I have tried or got myself involved in various 'business venture' 1) Cleaning service company. Everything looked sound to me. The client and revenue record. The demand. The business owner who asked me to join this company was my own landlord. A Christian too. His name? David. So I thought.. surely he won't run away right? Well.. he  #$#@$% run away with my mone...

This song is one of the few songs that resonated strongly with my spirit lately. Always love songs that declares the greatness of our God. this God we know.. this God who saves. But we did not really sing this song in the usual service that I attended at 11am. Instead the song was sung in another church that I visited few months ago. This weekend will be the first time I am returning to worship ministry after couple of years. So it was a pleasant surprise to me when the worship leader was changed last minute and so were the songs. Suddenly this song appeared on the list. Ah.. the lovely little surprises that God is always so fond of. you know.. this year still feels like a mystery to me. while our greatest worry in Singapore are mainly haze, dengue, and er.. MRT breakdown, many other places are dealing with routine bombing and all kind of terror. so I tell myself.. be happy sufficiently, be sad as and when it is needed, (coz hey, joy needs sadness too right? ) and b...

have you read the book 'captivating'? have you read a dozen of other similar books? yes.. we get it. women want to be pursued. trust me.. we freaking get it. sure.. japanese coined the terms 'herbivore' males. it refers to men who are passive about their romantic/sexual relationship. naturally there are carnivore type too.. even the female carnivore. yes.. we get your frustration with herbivore guys. and being a meat lover, i can certainly feel you. so back to the topic.. you are the prey, and we are the hunter. that's basically what this whole game rules imply. while you take every opportunity to remind the guys that you need to be pursued, i humbly encourage you to reconsider the nature of being a prey. you are not the only prey in the forest. you do not dictate how the hunter hunt. there is no right or wrong way of hunting. only one thing matters.. result. whether you are caught or not. so.. are you embracing your role now? the hunter has...

Sid Mohede shared this and I went to watch. Well.. it was emotional indeed. I believe her first song that got her famous had something to do with her dad too. And now she is back with another powerful song. Now with the story of how her husband has restored her faith in man. Man as a husband and man as a father. And ultimately, man as a man. But if you know me well, you know what I will ask. How? how do you know? That this new man will not fail? Yet for people like her, I really really really pray that she does not get hurt twice. I can't imagine that. Well maybe I can. And precisely because I know, maybe.. that I pray for her marriage. Been thinking too.. There was a time when I was in a relationship with someone who came from.. what I would call.. an ideal family. Well they sure have their share of problems and disagreements but really.. no drama no scandal no skeleton in the cupboard. Just loving bunch of people in her home. I realised then that we had a v...

having observed how people generally go through their lives.. the years of being teenagers, being 20s, and then 30s, 40s, and so on.. I figure that the greatest challenge in life is to keep one's heart pure. after so many disappointments, bitterness and betrayals.. it is almost impossible to remain pure. to believe in what we used to believe in our early 20s. i can understand now why some parents can be so disillusioned with this thing called 'love'. it doesn't help that I just found out that one of the most celebrated Christian singers has just announced his divorce. it just goes to show that so many of us are clueless after all. yes.. that includes those writers of relationship posts that went viral. even as I look at my friends in their 30s now, they have become so different from who they were 10 years ago. and maybe I too.. have changed. at least recently. there is that helpless romantic part that will never disappear entirely. but it takes so much ...

I love Nov-Feb time in Singapore. When it doesn't rain.. it is awesome. Nice temperature.. nice cold wind at times. Well.. cold by our tropical standard anyway. When  it rains.. it's great too. As long as I am not stuck somewhere outside. 2016 has rolled by faster than my expectation. A stormy year so far. Before I knew it, Rak*ten has closed its South East Asia's shops. A few other big tech companies falter. And so are banks.. and then some manufacturing companies too. Oh and there is this fat boy up north with some nuke toys who is making some noise too. The world is happening. Of course, being in Singapore we remain in our safe cocoon. But who knows for how long? So it kinda tickles me when some friends out there are still doing their part in standing up for social issues such as gender and sexual orientation 'equality'. not knowing how manipulative the world media is. and how such issues are deliberately amplified to keep us away from the re...

  "The land we walked through and scouted out is a very good land—very good indeed. If God is pleased with us , he will lead us into that land, a land that flows, as they say, with milk and honey. And he’ll give it to us. Just don’t rebel against God ! And don’t be afraid of those people. Why, we’ll have them for lunch! They have no protection and God is on our side. Don’t be afraid of them!” - Numbers 14     This passage has been the vision for the year for some of us. Or for .. ehem.. certain church. Greatly blessed by the sermon. just like last year's one. On restoration. I pray and hope you too will resonate with this as you pray for God's guidance in 2016. One thing I come to learn at this point of my journey is to always meditate on the Word with all my understanding, as imperfect as my understanding is. No matter who the preacher is. Even if its John Piper. They too, are human. Different people will come up with different perspective. ...

Alright.. since ko Harun and so many other pastors have preached about being detailed, so here goes my attempt of being detailed. yeah horrible sketch I know. but well.. that's what version 1a, 1b, 1c, 2, 3, 4, final, final final, final final final are for. she had a short hair. by now it is probably longer.. shoulder length? chubby.. that is kinda inevitable. her eyes.. they smile as she smiles. they are gentle. and they are reassuring. her smile is that of a spring breeze. her laughter is that of a summer song. she is kind and she is beautiful. she is abigail, and she is ruth.  you hear me Abba :)

two days ago I attended a lunch meeting with some Christian friends. as per usual SOP, once I tell them that I am a property agent, the next question will be, 'how was the property market this year?' they were shocked when I told them plainly that I thought it was good. personally, I consider it a fruitful year. of course I have not reached 'top producer' level yet. the elite group of agents who make hundreds of thousands a year. but based on my personal history, I actually hit a new record in 2015. so I learn that indeed he is God who provides. on the year that I need extra resources to provide for the family need, he sent me extra provision, just like that. i did not do anything differently this year. yet He made all the differences. a man has got to do what a man has got to do. so being at peace with that.. I learn to embrace the challenge and battle that come my way. i thank God for He sees that I am worthy of being entrusted with this fight. and i...