..my battle stance..

How do we measure a year? How do you? If we go by blogpost, 2009 has been the year I posted record high number of entry and.. 2010 is the year I have my record low. Apart from 2005 coz I began blogging here in dec 2005. I had one idea in mind for my one and only 'untitled' story in 2010.. But somehow I hv neither the enery nor the inspiration to finish it -_- Right now.. On the highly commercialised Christmas eve.. I am waiting for my flight, while enjoying a free foot massage at Changi. Not too bad I must say, apart from the fact that I dun hv ika by my side. Am curious to find out who will outlast this massage, me or the Indian beside me? Oh and in case u wanna know.. Changi is surprisingly quiet.. The plane looks half full only. I guess everyone r already where they sud be on this nite. Ah.. The guy lost the battle. I outlast him. I'm pretty good at being the last guy to walk away. Now.. A boyband-face-british-accent-angmoh come to challenge me. This one won't last l...

I suppose.. Sometimes the only way to survive all these is to act blur. Like what anita said,'act blur live longer'. Its tiring when u always think over things. Like how certain people behave towards u. Or what they say.. Damn, even believers say unbelieveable things sometimes. Once again I come to conclusion that.. We r all the same. Cheers!

God has been wonderful. I am glad I volunteered to be usher for TungLing Chinese SOM graduation tonight. I expected nothing as I thot I wouldn't understand the whole thing. Its chinese. But as I sit here listening to the sermon.. My heart warmed.. And strengthened.. In way only God could. And it speaks to me in a simple and gentle way.. The Word of the season.. Probably my main theme for 2011. Far from my explosive plan.. It's a message about Noah.. It's a calling to return to the basic. A year of.. 'Walking with God'. Teach me to obey Lord.

i was about to post an angry notes. but i suppose.. i don't have the right after all. sigh.. God's grace has been sufficient for me, even as I go thru these troublesome days. So I will try to be gracious as well. For each of you.. I pray that God helps you to be more responsible in future. Seriously.

2AM, n we finally land on our bed at our new home. The first night at our wonderful new place. Phew.. The stairs hv been amazing.. Hv not been this exhausted for a while. And the stuff we gotta clear from our old house.. They r humongous. Never ending. It makes me wonder if we should hv moved out earlier. But I am thankful that God allows us to move now. Can't imagine what would hv happened if we stay on for 1-2 more years.

Amazing.. Isaiah 43:19. One verse that spoke to me in so many amazing ways this year. Only God could have done such things, really. This one verse guided me to Tung Ling, first of all. Then slowly but surely, it guides me to see that indeed.. this 11-year chapter is indeed coming to its end. Like the 3rd book of Lord of the Rings, the 7th book of Narnia. Like when I was going thru my stuff, deciding what to throw and what to keep. It brought me to see the last 11 years in perspective. And it seems... most of the things that need to be fulfilled, has been fulfilled. The verse came to my mind as I was looking at some of my favorite text books from our NUS days. Like.. Buku Sapi, CS1101 ^^, the GUI book, the Finance and Accounting books, History of Japan, and my Basic Japanese 1's notes. Not to dwell in the past. Look forward and upward to the new chapter. Discard all unnecessary baggage. Learn to travel light. Traveling light.. here, there, and to the end of the earth hoho ^^

Abel's name means.. vapor. And his life probably reflects that. Having to move again after almost 3 years, I went thru stuff that I have kept in boxes for years. Now that our new place have limited space and have no store room, I have no choice but to be cruel to my stuff. I am throwing away most of the things I have been keeping for memento sake. Going thru those stuff.. give me mixed feelings. Sometimes it's inexplicably heavy. Sometimes.. silly smiles and small laughter. And gratefulness. and at times.. tough time figuring out the origin of the stuff, the reason behind my writing, etc. like ika said.. sadly.. most of these things are no longer the way they are today. things you thought would stay forever.. they don't. they're just vapor in this life- a life which in itself is merely vapor. however life has been meaningful because of all these things. like the 24 friends who began this journey with me on November 15th, 1999. "batch 5".. you are the reason I ...

Nonsense are popular nowadays

This boy definitely beat Mark the Facebook. I dunno the statistics but he must be one of the youngest, if not the youngest, self-made millionaire. A 3 yrs old found 500 years old gold locket that has value of potentially 2.5 million POUNDS. Complete story here . Oh well.. I diligently bought TOTO like, once each month, and still.. it didn't happen to me =P But.. I believe that there is no shortcut in life. So this boy, for one reason or another, will also face challenges we all face to eventually live a fulfilling life. As for me, I am grateful for today. Somehow God allows me to come across some very exciting investment thingy. Whether it will turn out as good or bad things, as the old man says- we are not to judge. But in all things, I believe God works for our goodness. And I am all the more amazed because I really have not done anything deserving of this grace God poured on me. Grace is indeed scandalous. It is never about who we are or what we've done. It's always abou...

It's only November. Still somewhat below the target. But.. I feel like resting already -_- Is it the festive mood? Hmm... One thing for sure- i realise that 2010 has been a year without holiday trip to any country apart from Malaysia and of course, Indonesia. I suppose God.. we gotta make up for it next year =D and next year.. somehow.. by God's grace, it gonna be the beginning of this new thing I have been pondering about from the beginning of 2010. The realisation of Isaiah 43:19. As for now.. though eyes have not seen, but by faith I am giving thanks to the wonderful new home we will move into. this as well.. is realisation of Isaiah 43:19 I believe =)

when we go out to work, and join the so-called 'rat race'.. we come across several types of people.. the competent jerks.. and the incompetent nice guys. (in reality, they call it: lovable fools. quite harsh) and of course, we also come across competent and lovable guys. let's not discuss the fourth combination. now.. be it in corporate world.. or in the church.. if u gotta choose between competent jerk and incompetent nice guy to be the board member- which one do you think will get the vote? that.. my friend.. is the ugly truth.

super tiring today.... -_- blame the tyre =( but thank God.. He listened to my prayer and sent ko Omar to my aid. and i realised.. i have not talked to him for quite a while.

okay.. so who were the brilliant guys who came up with this deal.com.sg? looks like a good business model to me. let's see how they grow.

I can't stop thinking about the Social Network. When I watch Mark Zuckerberg doing his coding frantically, I was thinking.. "darn.. some of the most well known guys in this world studied what I studied!" Think Bill Gates. Steve Jobs. And now.. Mark Zuckerberg. Yeah.. these world famous people were, and probably are still, nerds. I almost wished I was nerd -_- So it's concluded. Nerds are cool! And another thing we observes was of course, some of the most famous brand in the world today began with passion, not profit. Apple. Google. Facebook. Easy to observe, nice to know, difficult to follow. But man.. Shouldn't we at least try? So 2011.. You gotta be explosive!!!

don't be yourself.. being yourself will never do.. seriously. most of the times, you simply have to be numb to yourself. that.. my friend.. is the ugly truth.

today, as I ponder on.. all the what ifs that we could ever think of, I realise that they will never be answered, and that's the beauty of life, of this race we are in. what if I took that step, what if I didn't take that decision.. I look at all kind of people around me, some of them are now living lives I wouldn't have predicted before. while many of them are pretty predictable. and one or two.. are no longer breathing. what if my cousin really suffered from rabies? what if they took him to Jakarta instead of Singapore? what if they didn't send him back to Medan? would he be still alive today? only God knows. I think it's tiring when we live in these what ifs. If we think there is better way ahead, well.. for goodness sake, just go for it. If we think we just missed it.. too bad.. we gotta move on. rather than answering the what ifs, maybe we should learn treasuring the present. cliche it is.. as cliche as the unnecessary questions that trouble you and I most of ...

Just received a letter from RD claiming that I qualified as one of the few who is eligible to be the winner of their 200k sweepstakes prize. And they will be sending me some stuff later on that I need to reply bla bla bla.. if I win, they will arrange for limousine pick up at my home for a lavish 5 star hotel lunch paid by RD, should I agree so. Oh well... it did look good. Good enough to attract suspicion ^^ Went for a quick search and apparently: 1. Yes.. they do have sweepstakes that offer prizes as they promised 2. But so many people have been 'lured' into subscribing to the magazine somewhere during the process of receiving and replying their letters in order to win the sweepstakes. So.. since they do have genuine prize to be given, you wouldn't call it a scam. But it's quite crappy, honestly. I didn't know that this magazine use such a marketing gimmick to attract subscription. What a shame. Having said that.. I wonder.. should I play along then?

this is my prayer in harvest.. when favor and providence flows.. i know i am filled to be empty again.. the seed i receive i will sow. - desert song wow.. have listened to this song dozens times, and yet.. every time i think about the above 4 lines, i can only say.. "wow". the desert part of the song is difficult to sing, but the harvest part? living it will be truly supernatural. it will open wide the gate of Heaven and i can't even begin to imagine how great it would be. the world has yet to see a church which live in such way. because when we the church live in such way.. i am sure we will turn the world upside down like the early church.

yesterday i got a question about this interesting book called 'wild at heart'. i read the book 3 years ago. and as i read it, i too had similar questions. and I too found similar 'feedback' in the internet regarding this book. but i recommended it anyway to my bro and ivan5x. because i learn that although this book refers to 'brave heart' as much as it refers to bible, it benefits men not less than the movie "passion of the Christ". (both of which has to do with Mel Gibson). "wild at heart" is not an apologetic or evangelistic book, so my advise is.. take it for what it's worth. just like the book "Song of Songs" in the bible. to some.. they can't understand why book with such graphic language is in our bible. to some.. it's one of the greatest evangelistic books in the bible (i kid you not).

reading Pastor Kong's latest tweets, I feel sorry for him. I dunno what he is going thru exactly, I dunno whether he's totally innocent or not.. but I know that he is an overcomer. He will overcome all odds, and remain standing after all is thru. Just like king David. And I pray that I would too.. though in general things have been good for me.. there are these little stones here and there that continue to pierce the peace of my heart. there are these people who I need to overcome, in one way or another. oh God.. I need Thee..

The word sounds like sheep's 'mbeek...' It sounds 'weak', quite literally. It doesn't give motivating effect. Neither do you find this word often in Bible. And to begin with.. do you know what it mean? Meekness indeed has kind of 'soft' and 'powerless' feel to it. But Jesus says this: Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. And Jesus himself, is meek. True meekness.. is not powerless. True meekness.. is power under control. The meek are those who, despite having power to do certain things, decide not to do so. Why? out of humility, out patience, out of love. it's when you know how to shoot back at your enemy, or how to shoot him down, but you decide not to. So meekness is one thing that takes enormous strength to master. Neither would many people want to know about it. We are living in generation that feeds on feels-good words such as blessing, love, grace, authority, dominion, power, success, etc. But as grace find its meaning...

shuo le zai jian

Three months passed. Here we are.. The last day of school.. And graduation tonite. The journey has not been always ideal.. Neither had I been role model of any sort in class. But I have been surrounded by so many salt and light. The last chapel's message was this; Perfect love casts out fear. Amazing truth that is never outdated.. That's why of the three: faith, hope and love.. Love is the greatest. Only perfect love will cast out fear. And thank God its not about our love (which can never be perfect), Its about God whose love is perfect from beginning to end. Even if I forget every other thing that I learned in these 3 mths, May I remember this simple truth. That embracing God's perfect love is all that I need. The more we learn, the more we understand that.. Its never about us geeting better, wiser, stronger, Its about us decreasing and God increasing more and more each day. Thank you Jesus.

you may need some 'christian jargon' knowledge to 'get it'. sometimes.. the only thing that really matters.. the coffee.. is truly the one thing that is missing in the midst of everything.

life gets frustrating because we expect problem-free days. while the truth is, there will always be problem. though 80% of what we categorise as 'problem', are not really problems. like where to eat, what dress to wear, how to apply leave for holiday, and how to motivate ourselves to work. the '1st world country' problems, so to speak. now if we approach each day by expecting problems, maybe our heart will be better prepared, we won't sweat over at least 80% of problem that comes our way. well yes.. the remaining 20% will still cause us to sweat, and fear. but faith and fear have inevitable chemistry. at least that's what i humbly learn, eventually. our peace is not found in emptiness of mind and absence of noise. our peace is found in chaos of life and raging of storm. "be still, and know that I am God", thus said the Lord of Host.

The last gadget I wanted so much was PSP. My bro gave it to me. Too bad it has been under utilised but I think I'll get to use it more nxt year. Coz I think I will travel a lottt more nxt year ( not prophecy, just impression in heart ) And now.. I want ipad!!!! (3g if possible). Yeah.. nvr been a gadget guy but ipad is too interesting to resist. Nvr been crazy about iphone but then ipad... Gosh...

Yesh.. here's one of the nice songs i've been listening to lately.. ky bagus nih pelem... love in disguise..

when this country's most important name is saying Ma ra na tha.. every night. ^^ through ways we can't understand, and some more skeptical people cry foul due to the "meditation" thingy... you know.. if we would just learn to focus on God rather than devil, if we would just learn to humbly realise that He can even work through us despite our wickedness.. yeap.. Romans 8:28, then we could all sincerely rejoice in this.. that with or without intention.. this great man is somewhat connecting to the greater than great, almighty God. let's pray for him.. and know that indeed.. Jesus is coming very very soon!! Ma ra na tha!!!! *you gotta read THIS !!

When I was about to prepare songs for worship leading at Tung ling, I thought about my Dean who loves hymns. And I don't have hymn this time around. When I was about to tell my parents of my plan for next step, they were faster to tell me something that basically the opposite of my next step. When I was trying to share about my burden with others, well.. I regretted doing so many times. Instead of helpful counsel, you got judgment. I am concerned.. that Dean would not like the songs. that my parents would be disappointed with what I was about to tell them. that others would think badly of me. but I am convinced.. that what God like.. is more important. that what God want.. is more important. that what God think.. is more important. that God.. is more than enough

Just when you thought you have mastered the steps, He shows you the whole new moves you never knew before. This journey of faith is never boring. The journey of getting out of the boat, of walking on the water, of drowning occasionally, and being picked up by His strong and gentle hand.. is never dull. The only time it gets boring is when the water has calmed down, and we move back to the safe and comfortable boat. And we forget the excitement of walking on the water. Yeah I have become afraid of trouble and difficulty. All we ask for is a long peaceful journey on still water. Or even better.. we just want to stay safe at the harbor and see the day pass by. Yet all we need to soar.. is that bit of storm, and His ever present hand to pick us up. How comforting it is to know that His grace is sufficient for us. And His strength is made perfect in our weaknesses. What a grace.. what an undeserved favor.

been a fruitful week. by Your grace alone... my Lord is my good shepherd. i shall not be lacking..

I feel like taxi driver sometimes.. like today. Drive here and there, rushing my way, rushing my lunch, missing my nap. And that's when I often remember that indeed.. the less possession we have, the more freedom we have. Oh well.. it's 9:17PM now. Spoken to numerous agents, owners, buyers, bla bla bla. Move from house to house, from one mood to another, but generally.. bleah.. But God knows how to cheer us up indeed. Like the way He know how lazy I am, that if I have to make my way to ATM I would have postpone my tithing to next month.. so somehow.. He prepares for me.. just enough money here and there.. exact amount.. to tithe tomorrow ^^ yeahh!! So exact that my wallet is now perfectly empty hoho. That too.. is freedom =) Oh and the last person I spoke to today on the phone.. wasn't a 'bleah' agent. this agent is candid and friendly. glad that's the last one I spoke to. So.. life is good! God is even better! Time to call it a day.. and even on a day like this...

Ever wonder how it feels on a day.. when you feel that you have really tried your best to do what you have to do.. and eventually, you reach home to the realisation that.. none of these things were good enough.. and you are owing everyone and yourself a better performance.. everyone except God of course. hm.. so on such a day.. it could be God's strange way of cheering you up.. by letting you cross path with the guy who walked away with more than 10k of your money. i never ever ever saw this guy though i travel a lot in this little island. but today.. suddenly there was this mini van. with familiar company name on its back. and very familiar handphone number. for a moment i was excited.. without realising, I tailed him to AYE.. like HK action movie.. and after a while.. I slowed down. wondering.. what do i do then if I manage to corner him? demand a payment? say 'Hi'? what's the purpose? every time I thought of chasing him down.. I remember God's grace.. that if He ...

Oh gosh.. I think I just can't afford not to have a go at this movie haha. Well.. have to admit that when I look at the 5 level guide sent by sista, I was kind of like.. "Wow... cool juga yah". But still.. first impression matters. And I still stand by my personal, very personal, opinion that.. The movie is not THAT good. It's good.. better than Green Zone kind of movie.. But to me.. Inception is.. "the process of reinventing "Shutter Island" by adding in the element of Hollywood special effect (a good one indeed), mixing it with the usual summer blockbuster recipe (lots of action and little chance to ponder), and making it complicated with more layering". That's all. The concept of inception itself.. is not that amazing. I don't think you really need to enter someone's dream and go into all those troubles just to plant an idea into someone's mind. Adam Khoo did it without so much hassle. I felt it was like some of those rides you f...

Oh well.. not really a suitable title haha. But anyway.. that's one of my fave comic strips. It was introduced to me 10 years ago by our english course's teacher at NUS. You can spot the comic everyday at Life Section. Actually what I want to say is.. Congrats.. congrats.. congrats.. congrats...!!! I receive pregnancy news one after another. I am sure it's going to be a wonderful journey for all of you, though it can be 'blue' at times =P well that's not my word, that's the wisdom from that comic strip.

today.. suddenly i remember the night we were at that wonderful bar in Bangkok. the conversation under the open sky.. the lightheartedness.. i was really smarter back then =) how true is the Ecclesiastes wisdom.. what a vanity.. indeed.

don't miss today's "mega-articles" in Strait Times, LIFE section, on megachurch phenomenon in Singapore. I think the writers are Christians. I find the writing to be somewhat.. evangelistic heh. love the concluding part. indeed.. despite the pro and cons, megachurches serve their particular purpose in God's grand plan. there is certain area, certain season, certain way in which God works through these megachurches and their so-called 'feel good gospels'. but, i find myself agreeing with the article that one day.. this megachurch trend with cutting-edge technology, rock concert style of worship, and "feel good gospel" thingy.. would give way to that good ol message of the Cross. one day.. we will outgrow all these and come back to the simple heart of worship. it's not about whether we are rich or poor, or whether we are suppose to suffer or to be healthy-wealthy.. maybe.. it's simply about submitting ourselves to His lordship, in the bless...

When the only thing I can rely on, is Your unfathomable grace..

He will rise you up again... Can I hold on to these words God? -_-;

The Temperature of a Church's Spirituality is not measured by the decibels of the worship session. It is measured by the conversation of the congregation after the service ends.

When we are drawn to God's presence, we would inevitably fall in awe of His holiness as we embrace His love. That.. is worship.

if there is one potent danger we ignore the most in the body of Christ.. it would be the danger of gossiping.

Beautiful... =)

2010 is a Brand New Start, a Brand New Chapter. And therefore we begin with rest. Rest in God's presence as He unfolds the story. A way in the desert, stream in the wasteland. There are desires, and hopes, and prayers. But above all.. there is God's heart. And this is what we are after. By your grace alone.. Father.. we shall see thru the second half of the year. A month ago I felt I have terribly underachieved this year. But today.. as God restores my faith.. as He gently lay me down on lush meadows, I feel I have every reason to rejoice. What a Savior we have.

Heard that good news yesterday. About one or two days after you appeared in my dream, which was rare. Happy for you, friend =) Without wanting to presume too far ahead, I thought.. it's funny that in a way.. there is similarity in the pattern of our happy ending hehe. So.. all the best.. may God.. the author and the finisher of our faith journey, be all sufficient for your brand new chapter in life. Omedetto..

One week away.. Had a considerably good break at Jakarta, though the horrible traffic jam threaten to spoil my mood so many times, I still love my country.. I still love the colorfulness of our country. It used to be very clear- I liked Singapore 10x more than I liked Jakarta. Now.. after 10.5 years, I am torn between the two. But anyway.. as what ko Harun shared in our cellgroup, the main thing.. is to know our position. And I feel that my position is still here. For now. The main thing for the next 3 months will be Tung Ling. Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. - Isaiah 43:19 That was the verse that brings me there. Now.. please pray for me that I will perceive this New Thing He is doing. Please pray for me that I will have real hunger, and be filled. That I will not lose my courage even when everything else looks discouraging. Tomorrow...

I miss THIS!!!!

1-3 God, my shepherd! I don't need a thing. You have bedded me down in lush meadows, you find me quiet pools to drink from. True to your word, you let me catch my breath and send me in the right direction. 4 Even when the way goes through Death Valley, I'm not afraid when you walk at my side. Your trusty shepherd's crook makes me feel secure. 5 You serve me a six-course dinner right in front of my enemies. You revive my drooping head; my cup brims with blessing. 6 Your beauty and love chase after me every day of my life. I'm back home in the house of God for the rest of my life.

One of the most memorable meeting I had last year was with one of the senior Indonesian property agent who told me in the most straightforward manner, 'I think your performance was really bad' A good wake up call. That, and God's favor, and friends' favor.. made 2009 a good year for me. Now that I am starting to find my feet in this job, I received another straightforward assessment that I hope.. is equally significant in my growth to the next level this year. 'Dave.. you are a university graduate. I think you really have underestimated yourself if you are only limiting yourself to what you are doing now' It took me some time to digest the words. It's not that it's a waste for a NUS graduate who have endured 4 painstaking years in university to end up in this line. But.. given all that I had, I could have improved more, and become more complete. There has to be a difference. And the words echoed so strongly in my head because.. That's what I have sub...

I think I need phone charger inside my car. I can afford to miss one or two turn, but I can't afford losing the connection. Yeah.. somewhat like a relationship. There is time when we are frustrated, because we do not know which way to turn, we can't really read the sign.. and we are not sure how to get to the destination. But as long as we remain connected, as long as we are able to get to the other heart's end.. then it's alright.

Another devotional from my manager ;) Thirsting For God In The Wilderness - Ps 63 1 O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. 2 I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory. 3 Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. David was in the wilderness of Judah where there was no water, no rain and a scorching sun coming down hard on him. He was definitely thirsty for water. But yet he was even more thirsty for God because he knew exactly what to do even in the wilderness ... to thirst for God and glorify Him. Dear God, You allow wilderness in our lives for a reason. Where we have to battle the scorching sun of physical & mental tiredness, feeling of doubts, fears, hopelessness & helplessness, seemingly unending stretch of sand of things to do, we need to continue to thirst for You and to trust in You because this is one of the main reaso...

yeah.. amazing morning! ;) was all excited last sunday, and today part of that hope that excited me, took another big blow. but it won't crash. it would remain steadfast ;) I will still praise You.. with all I am

If Aslan represented the immaterial Deity in the same way in which Giant Despair [a character in The Pilgrim's Progress] represents despair, he would be an allegorical figure. In reality however he is an invention giving an imaginary answer to the question, 'What might Christ become like, if there really were a world like Narnia and He chose to be incarnate and die and rise again in that world as He actually has done in ours?' This is not allegory at all. - CS Lewis, Author of the Chronicles of Narnia I respect the spiritual authority of the church preachers but sometimes.. maybe we all need to do proper homework and use some wisdom before we make devil or god out of anything. To claim that Narnia is influenced by the devil or some kind of false god, and without properly introducing (or even studying) the background of the writer, is such.. a.. sad thing..

thank you Jesus for unexpected blessing from a stranger. through the kind heart of mooya who remembered me.. sometimes you chase after a deal like mad and you get nothing in the end. but sometimes you do little and somehow everything is just in place ^^ it feels good. God's favor is.. delicious!! May God's favor be with tomorrow's cases also. Thank you dear.. for working harder than I did =P Indeed two is better ^^

I have decided to stop chasing. I will rest in His cares.. Trust in His heart.. Just be still. He's GOD. Yes.

What moves our heart? What excites us in a way that cause us to quickly tweet, or facebook, or blog about it? What kind of email that.. got us on our feet and hit the reply button straight away? Think about it.. In truth.. we are not really interested in God. we are only interested to know.. what's in it for us?

how convenient it is to have it anytime you want it. and to cast it aside anytime you feel like it. oh well.. the 7 habit guru was right after all. he said: we judge others by their behavior and we judge ourselves by our intention.

Thanks to kuya for sharing this video. The question is not.. whether it's okay to be rich as Christian. The question is.. whether.. we can be most satisfied in Him.. in the midst of loss? That's how God is most glorious in us. But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ Phil 3:7-8

thanks krn skalipun km ga perna mnulis any reason why I am.. I know dat e reason isn't more important than why u stayed for me.. hehe kalo ga ngerti jgn tny y :) - sweeney (so that i remember one of the many beautiful mysteries that makes a woman)

One of the friends I know throughout my 10 yrs time at our church is this guy, Txx. He is not my closest friend. But it's amazing how many friends he has referred to me. I don't think I was doing that much when I helped him to secure his house. But he told me it was just automatic for him to refer my name when a friend asks him about property. Which is always something I am very grateful about. I have other friends who are much closer to me, and yet.. they don't even consider asking my help. Or they might have considered, and then decided not to for one reason or another. Maybe they felt I am not qualified enough. Who knows ^^ Only when you are in this position.. you learn that 'closeness' with a friend.. is often a matter of mutual benefit and interest. rather than loyalty or trust. I still dunno why Txx would trust me to the extent of referring me to his friends. But I know it's by God's grace that I am still here... and by God's grace that I still kno...

Finally.. it's over. i imagine it must have been an emotional moment for the CHC members who have so amazingly given their all for this big event. It was much bigger than anything our church has ever organised. Some of the most awesome men of God were there. There are those who actually were not exactly as what I expected. And there was Reinhard Bonke who was beyond my expectation. Was totally blown away by his message. Would love to share his message in our cellgroup.. but everything really.. depends on the appetite of those who listen as well. Even the most delicious sashimi will look sickening right after your big big buffet. If you are not hungry, you won't need food. Sometimes I may think that I am full.. while my spirit is actually starving. I may think that I am loaded while my spirit is poor. That's why I decided to force myself to come for this conference. at least for some of the sessions. because I know I need to let myself be exposed to these people who are trul...

most of us.. only know what we do not want. but knowing what we do not want doesn't mean a single thing. we are born with that ability. the question is.. and have always been.. what do we really want? how do we move, act, or even just pray.. if we don't know.. what we really want.

One thing good about my manager is.. He is a faithful disciple of God heh. He sends us devotional every week. This is the latest one.. Trusting His Unfailing Love. Praising Him Forever. - Ps 52: 7-9 " 7 "Here now is the man who did not make God his stronghold but trusted in his great wealth and grew strong by destroying others!" 8 But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God's unfailing love for ever and ever. 9 I will praise you forever for what you have done; in your name I will hope, for your name is good. I will praise you in the presence of your saints." David was talking about 2 different types of man. One trusted in his great wealth and the other, which is himself, chose to trust in God's unfailing love, praising Him forever for what He has done in his life. Dear God, when we are faced with people who are boastful and evil in their ways in our daily lives, may we chose to remember Your unfailing love for us, and what You...

With You I'll walk.. this Narrow way... (God of my forever, City Harvest Church) di dalam dunia.. ada dua jalan... I still believe in this song.. as much as my flesh wish for something else.. I know.. that your grace will enable me to walk this narrow way with you.. and finish this race.. gloriously.

Trust.. does not ask for proof or explanation.. Trust is a silent confidence in someone. It is the ability to choose to believe in the most positive motive of someone's behavior. A kid would cry when his father hit him with a rod. But he would wake up the next morning looking for his father. Because he trusts his father. He does not need to try to trust. He simply does. Being adults... to ask the same of the other party.. will be almost impossible. But to be able to establish such trust.. will make the relationship invincible. Ironic that we often ask God for direction, we ask him to lead us.. while at the same time.. we don't really trust His words. We don't really like His ideas. No wonder then.. that sometimes when we seek His voice.. all we got is.. Silence. We don't realise that what we really wanted from Him was His silence after all. Because if he says "Do not worry". We say "No you don't understand.. God" And when he says "I heal the...

for hands to write, heart has to be liberated. for hands to write, heart has to be free as wind. it's better to leave the page empty, rather than writing with a chained heart.

Ada orang sok ganteng yang gayanya makin lama makin minta digampar! blame this on the heat -_-"

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationship/features/21527-you-are-who-your-friends-are Good article to read.. Hard act to follow.. But yeah.. We can

Cool..

the true joy of ministry is found mostly in serving those who have the least.

Alamak.. so this song.. that always caught my attention everytime it played on 93.3 is... Jerry Yan's song =P hoho..

There are no crown-wearers in heaven who were not cross-bearers here below. Charles Spurgeon

Joke would have lost its meaning when it has to be explained. So they said.. So are some of the important things in our lives.

All along. That's the lesson I've been getting lately. I was panicking yesterday when I realised that run out of namecard and yet I was there at the showflat already. So I quickly searched high and low for extra namecard stocks in my car, wallet, everywhere. To no avail. So I rushed back home to pick up a box of namecards, went back to the showflat bla bla bla.. only to discover, eventually, that: 1. I had extra namecards inside the very suit I have been wearing all day long. 2. I didn't get the chance to serve anyone anyway, coz my shift ended at 5pm and it was a quiet day at the showflat. And on the same day.. I messaged a company for the cheque that they supposed to have sent a month ago. But I haven't received it. Their answer is: We don't have any record of the cheque anymore. please sign an indemnity form and ask your director to sign too, for us to reissue the cheque. I was like !#%!#$%@!# First.. they misspelled my name on the cheque. That was after they too...

We can afford to lose, to fail and to fall.. but we can't afford to shift our gaze.. from the destined greatness that awaits us. no we won't fold these wings, even if it's breaking, we will still aim for the sky and not holding back.. not till we reach our eternal home.

Today I attended a new agent course's graduation in my company. And they played this song... heh.. If we hold on together... by Dianne Rose. And all of sudden.. in that dark room.. with this song playing loudly.. I felt like I was being brought back to 2000. Y2K. We were singing this song like mad under the night sky.. We.. the Rafflesian..were singing emotionally.. as we celebrated the rite of passage, the hall orientation that came to an end. We held on together that day. A bond that was born out of days of hardship and friendship. All was sweet.. even when I remembered it tonight.. it still felt sweet. But as you could see.. we did not hold on together. Ten years could do wonder.. really. Raffles Hall was a distant memory. So was PGP.. the canteen and the kitchens. SOC to me.. today.. is no longer relevant. System.out.println ("I haven't written this for so many years");

it was something that could only happen once in a lifetime. and therefore.. thank God.. thanks to you.. and all of you.. that it was something wonderful, something special. it began with a memorable cat and mouse game that we unintentionally created as I tried to be smart. Sorry dear.. and my bro.. it caused a lot of problem to the two of you. thank you for everything =) the night was special. the song (woa.. terharuu)... and the very corner.. where it all began a year ago. and YEAH.. my giant burger cake was awesome! and the BAG!! love ittt!! ^^ and another COOL gift from Universal Studio from my bro ^^ Love ittt!!! and our pixar date... The adventure is UP there!!!! and thanks everyone for making the effort to be present with your torture. and thanks to all of you who remember to leave msg on my wall coz though it may seem easy.. it's something I often fail to do to my friends -_- thank you God for every little thing that would have taken away a BIG portion of my happiness have t...

American Idol contestant ever... in my opinion, I kind of reluctantly admit.. is this guy. And here's another nice clip -> CLICK

I love.. I love... this song!! I know.. I know.. ni shi wo de OK-Beng zai mei yi ge shi hou! *some familiar tune in the song.. but can't figure out what's the original song

I will embrace Law.. only because it perfects my understanding of the importance of Christ. I will embrace Grace.. only because it enables me to be worthy to follow Christ. Those who try to keep their salvation by observing the Law.. are missing the point.. the whole point.. of the Cross. Those who claim to be covered by grace.. without even fully understanding the purpose.. will never truly appreciate grace. While Law is very human.. easily understood. Grace is heavenly.. impossible to comprehend. And yet.. at the centre of all this.. is the Cross. At the centre of all this.. is Christ. Be it prosperity gospel, be it gospel of grace, be it the Law.. if it causes Christ to be placed at the centre of our life.. I say.. embrace it. But if it cause that very doctrine to be placed at the centre of our life.. I say.. spit it out. Take up the cross instead. No matter how good the new teaching we get.. no matter how many verse is used, how much Greeks and Hebrews and speaking in tongue involv...

When everything and everyone Wants a piece of you...

the pastel colored sky, and the lazy fat cat... they remind me of the warm smile of my princess of dawn =)

I came across this interesting person's site: www.scotthyoung.com And I kind of like one of the points he raised, in his take on the three aspects to financial freedom. Let me just brutally copy and paste his writing here: A Low Poverty Threshold The poverty threshold is a term I use to describe the minimum amount of money you need to enjoy a comfortable life. Some people require $70,000 per year for comfort. Other people need less than $10,000. A low poverty threshold means you could be perfectly content with a bare minimum of material conveniences. If all your savings were stripped from you, and your income was reduced by 80%, could you still enjoy yourself? Or would you be miserable having to adjust to a lower level of income. Your poverty threshold is psychological. It’s not about actually having to survive poverty. Having a low threshold simply means you’d be willing to sacrifice more to make bigger changes. For example, iimagine your poverty threshold was roughly $50,000 per ...

Woo.. For some inexplicable reason.. This is one of my favorite wuxia OST of all time. I also dunno why.. But glad to find it in youtube. They don't make proper wuxia series anymore nowadays. Even if there is.. it is like 1 title for the last 3 years.

When men gets older, they get to know more things, and thus they could talk more and longer, sounds wiser, and yet.. they get to do less things. they have lesser courage to take risks. Just spend an hour in a crowded coffee shop. If we are lucky, we will listen to some interesting conversation among some knowledgeable ah peks.. who seems to know it all. But that's what they do.. they watch, they criticise, they watch, they talk. You ask them to try something.. they will give you all their 'risk analysis' and tell you.. "Cannot do one lah.. it's too risky!" and when a courageous young man tries and fails.. they tell you.. "Told you so.. where got so easy?" I am really worried that we are heading there. I hope and try not to. Maybe that's how Coral comes about. Instead of watching how the car COE rises.. complain about it.. predict when it will come down, bla bla bla.. I just listen to the heart.. and go for it. And ask God to provide for me.. make...

Sellers are getting greedier, buyers are living in the past. Some expect tough times ahead. But I can't afford to do so. Because my Father is greater than all these. And because I am carrying His genes of greatness. I don't have the luxury to sit back and give up. The only option I have.. is to relentlessly pursue.. and relentlessly trust in my Banner of Victory. Because my Father.. He makes no provision for failure.

'the scene that leaves me with deepest impression' A good title (that brought up some laughter when I bought the tic with ika today).. and what a dragon.. what a movie. Love it! To begin with.. it got vikings.. those crazy folks.. they remind me of Asterix and Obelix. Love them! The battle crazy vikings. And it got a cool dragon nicknamed the night fury.. aka.. 'toothless'. And it got a lot of brilliant ideas.. packed into an entertaining 98 minutes show. When was the last time I felt this satisfied watching a movie? Was it 'Cloudy with a chance of meatball'?

No matter how hard a man try, no matter how smart he could ever be, there is nothing he can do apart from You.. and nothing would ever prosper apart from You.. Yesus pokok.. dan kitalah carangnya.. tinggalah didalamNya.. pastilah.. kau akan.. berbuah... Thank you Jesus.. for your grace tonight.. as I am humbled again by your steadfast love. my Lord.. Immanuel..

it doesn't feel the same without your laughter filling the air i am breathing something is missing without your presence filling the space beside me.

OMG.. its Suntec!

and it's all quiet.. it's all silent.. words are slowly vanishing.. life.. it sparks.. in its beautifully wordless way.. and love.. it grows.. in its trustfully wordless form.. words are losing their purpose.. when everything is understood.

"there are things that man has to do, even if he doesn't want to. there are things that man must not do, even if he wants to." gu long

Ah.. the memories.. Love keeps lifting me higheerrr!!

God reminds me today.. as I was enjoying my worship time, singing, and talking to Him.. that He is the God who never stop and never quit working in our lives. Even on days when we don't seem to accomplish anything significant, or days when we had been running around like headless chicken with no result.. or days when everything just seem to work against us. Even on such days.. Up above.. deep inside.. God is working silently.. patiently.. masterfully.. His masterful creative hands continues to shape us.. His watchful loving eyes continue to watch over us.. And occasionally, He would nod and think.. "This is good.. very good" That's God.. that's how he think of us.. His children who love him. He only think of good stuff, best stuff.. and no work of man could undo his plan. Even on days when we feel like giving up praying.. I believe that up above.. deep inside.. He is working on our prayer.. on schedule to deliver.. an answer far above what we could ever imagine or...

Just realised that my movie consumption has been quite low for the last 1 month. And not many "Slumdog Millionaire" to talk about. Missed some supposedly "must watch" movies like the third installment of trilogy 20th century boys- for one reason or another. But there are some interesting movies to anticipate this or next week. Like Goemon. or this one: A woman, a gun, and a noodle shop. Now that's what I call a title. For western movie.. I haven't found anything particularly interesting. Though from paris with love looks like a good movie for guys. while "dear john" looks like one for the gals.

Lunar new year is the moment for families reunion. Even if for the last 12 moons they've not talked much.. Even if for the last 12 moons they've had quarrels and stuff.. They will still come together for laughter and happy reunion. On the lunar new year. They wish each other a majestic leap of prosperity. Even if for the last 12 years their lives have been mediocre. Even if for the last 12 years their downs have eclipsed their ups. They will still come together for laughter and happy reunion. On the lunar new year. It's spring after all. The rebirth of new hope.. After a punishing winter. It's reunion time after all. The time for three cups of wine and set aside difference in mind. On the lunat new year.

It took more than a month to get the first ball rolling. But it was definitely worth the wait. What a first ball! Thank you Jesus for You've assured my fragile heart once again That indeed.. Your grace is sufficient. And Your faithfulness.. Knows no end. This one.. Comes from a cousin who.. Gave his word to my dad that he would look for me When he decides to buy property here. That was promise made several years ago. I've many friends who are closer to me than him. And I am sure the same goes to him. And he told me many friends recommend their experienced agts to him. He didn't have to keep his word. But he did. And I am always touched by that. It has nothing to do with sales, It has everything to do with loyalty. Loyalty from someone who owes me nothing. I can only pray that this investment he makes Will be a profitable one ^^ Thank you Jesus.. My provision and portion.

we get undermined or misunderstood now and then. it could be anyone.. your friend or a stranger. family.. or foe. but of all these people, only very few worth our time.. time and effort to prove them wrong. most of the time.. the time and effort is not comparable to the little peace and freedom we get by walking away. yeap.. just.. walk.. away ^ ^

what about.. a car.. before.. my birthday? woo.. God.. open up.. the way.

and i shall close today with this sentence: for it's better to be taught a lesson and forgiven, rather than to be spared the rod and forsaken. and thank God.. for He does not forsake us no matter what. even when we walked thru the valley of the shadow of death, his rod and staff will keep us safe. thank you Jesus.

Had some discussion with iwan yesterday, we were talking about the difference between HK and here. you know where 'here' is. While the newspaper nowadays is filled with news on how govt trying to ensure the superiority of their local citizens, trying to assure their citizen that they will not be minority- HK is promoting equality to both its citizens and foreigners who work and stay there. The logic: if both citizens and foreigners are paying tax, why should we treat them differently? And there was also not much discrimination between maid and IT professional who work in HK- both have the same employment pass. Of course.. the way 'here' do things, there will always be positives to be drawn. But seeing all these news about how the foreigners 'here' are to be limited in their benefits (and not their obligations).. I suppose.. it just reminds us that.. no matter how much we have achieved here.. no matter how long we have stayed here.. we will never be able to call ...

The way God works is.. as I try to observe.. very peculiar. He seems to dislike our habit of counting the eggs. Being human, I would now and then assess how many potential clients I have, how many of them would close the deal, etc etc. I notice that many times.. when I put high hope in some of the cases, it just doesn't work out in one unfortunate way or another. And many times.. when I just unassumingly do my part, and let God decides the outcome, things work out- in one amazing way or another. I asked for 2nd promotion before 2009 ends.. when i entered Dec 2009, I had few cases with high chance of closing in my hands. Counting my eggs, I thought I could not only get the 2nd promotion, but also hit my sales target by the end of the month. I was very excited. Unsurprisingly.. I got it wrong. The cases just didn't work out. And there I was, 29 Dec 2009.. totally accepting the fact that I will neither get the promotion nor hit the target. I got one more case in hand.. and yet.. I...

This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What's next, Papa?" God's Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what's coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we're certainly going to go through the good times with him! - Romans 8:15-17 (The Message) Our adventure of faith with God is always a forward and upward looking journey. We don't look back. We don't dwell in the past. We open up our eyes with childlike expectation- expectation of a greater glory that awaits us, of a spectacular finish to the work of salvation that God has started in us.

My blogging rate has dropped significantly. For one reason or another. Though I often have much to say.. but seldom have the mood to sit down and put it down. The last two movies I watched was Blind Side and Jump. Blind Side is a feel-good story of Big Mike, supposedly one of the greatest left backs in NFL. Though the emphasis of the story is pretty much in Sandra Bullock's character, rather than Big Mike himself. Still.. the story gives good lasting impression as it ended with montages of the characters in real life. Jump.. well.. is not really a dance flick. It's a Chow-flick. It has Stephen Chow's taste of joke stamped all over it. Not a bad thing for someone like me who loves Chinese movies. I didn't expect great dance moves or anything.. though I expected Kungfu Hustle's level of stupidity. So I was little bit disappointed to find that the movie is not as stupid. But still.. pretty funny at times and for the girls.. I suppose they are more than happy to watch t...

So this is what I got from the church for verse of the season; Isaiah 43:19. A call to stop dwelling on the past, be it glory be it failure. A call to step up to in faith. For a new beginning beckons. A new path is opened before me. A new stream of water is flowing into my life. A path that leads to Kingdom come. A stream that pour out exceedingly, abundantly beyond my wildest dream. But most importantly.. let Matthew 6:33 be fulfilled in our lives this season. That's the verse I personally receive from God. That come 31 Dec 2010.. we could assuredly say.. "I have seek His Kingdom and His righteousness.. above all".

Congrats to you bro!! Finally you close the second deal. May you have more to come ;) There is no secret to this trade. Only God's favor, determination, and patience ^^

Thank God for an extremely loyal friend and client. For a very nice house that we gotten. That we have seen that one, and then moved on to see so many others only to return to that very house. It's fated I suppose. That I decided to leave for Indonesia for a quality family time, and God still takes care of everything here. On the 30th of Dec.. we hit the 13th star. And if that manager of mine really meant what he said.. I will write about another good news sometimes later. Thank you God. Now it's 2010. Start over. From the scratch. With a new canvas, new dimension, new territory.

Out of the night that covers me, Black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul. In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed. Beyond this place of wrath and tears Looms but the Horror of the shade, And yet the menace of the years Finds and shall find me unafraid. It matters not how straight the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul. - William Ernest Henley A very moving poem.. a favorite poem of Nelson Mandela.. And yet.. one I can't agree with.. because.. God is truly the master of my fate.. He is truly the captain of my soul..

We will boldly fight and advance.. Amidst people's judgment and mockery. No we shall not rest our hope in men We will put our trust wholly in Christ we will have comrades, God-given team.. Nothing more nothing less And as always.. A lot of grace. Because I am never too strong to Resist falling and avoid failing. Because every morning.. I still come to God Needing His grace and forgiveness to advance. I have yet to receive my verse of the year But I already have one in heart. More later...

Finally.. A decade passed! A decade mostly spent in a foreign country. A decade of many things, highs and lows. A pity that 2009 ended with the sad news that.. Indonesia lost one of her greatest sons.. Gus Dur. My respect to you Sir! 'There is no eternal friendship, Nor eternal adversity; The only thing eternal is INTEREST. As long as we have common interest, We would be able to walk together.' - Kick Andy (Watching the show now) The last decade of my life has at least Confirmed the truth of his words. More later..